Why do children lose faith in God?

Why is it that some people are able to know God and believe in Him until the end of their days, while others lose their faith while still young ? How does this loss of faith occur and by what means can faith be preserved or renewed ?

Before answering these questions I would like to say a few words to those who say that religious beliefs should not be “foisted upon” children.
Religious faith cannot be foisted upon a person; it is not something which is alien to man, but, on the contrary, it is an essential need of human nature, it constitutes the primary content of man’s inner life.


When we take care to have a child grow up truthful, good, when we develop in him a correct understanding of and a taste for beauty, we do not foist upon him something alien or extraneous to his nature; we only help him to extract this from within himself, we help him recognize within himself those traits and movements which are common to all human souls.

The same should be said concerning knowledge of God.

According to the principle of not foisting anything upon a child’s soul, we would generally have to renounce all assistance to the child in developing and strengthening the talents and capabilities of his soul. We would have to leave him to his own devices until he grew up and decided which principles to adopt and which to reject.

But in this case we would not have guarded the child from external influences, but would have only made these influences chaotic and arbitrary.

Let us return to the question of why some people retain in their hearts a constant and unshakeable faith until the end of their days, while others lose it, sometimes completely and sometimes returning to it with great difficulty and suffering?


What is the reason for such a phenomenon ? It seems to me that it depends on the direction which a person’s inner life takes in his early childhood. If a person, consciously or instinctively, is able to preserve a correct relationship between himself and God, he will not lose faith, but if his ego occupies an unseemly preeminent and dominant place in his soul, then his faith will be superceded. In early childhood a person’s nature does not yet occupy first place, does not yet become an object of worship. For this reason it is said: if you do not become like children, you will not enter the Heavenly Kingdom. As the years advance, our innate egoism grows more and more within us, becomes the center of our attention and the object of our gratification.

And this self-centered egoistic life usually runs along two channels - the channel of sensuality, gratification of the body, and the channel of pride, of strict trust in and worship of reason in general and one’s own in particular.

These two channels do not usually coexist within one and the same person. Some are dominated by the temptations of sensuality, while others by the temptations of reason. With age sensuality sometimes changes into unhealthy sexuality, from which those who are dominated by reason and pride are often free.

Sensuality and pride - two ways of serving one’s nature - are precisely those traits which, as we know, were manifested in the original sin of Adam and Eve, and created a barrier between them and God.

That which happened to our forebears, now happens to us.

The unhealthy direction of our inner life from childhood, which leads to the development within us of either sensuality or pride, pollutes the purity of our internal spiritual sight, deprives us of seeing God. We stray away from God, we remain alone in our egoistic life, with all the consequences of such a condition.

Such is the process of our abandonment of God.

In those, however, who succeed in keeping a correct relationship with God, the development of egoistic, sensual and proud attitudes is impeded by the memory of God; such people preserve their purity of heart and humbleness of mind; both their bodies and their minds are placed within a framework of religious consciousness and duty. They look upon all that springs up within their soul from the height of their religious consciousness, evaluate their feelings and passions properly, and do not allow them to take control. Despite all the temptations that come across their path, they do not lose the basic direction of their lives.

Thus the purpose and the difficulty of religious guidance lies in helping the child, and later the teenager, to preserve the right relationship between himself and God and to not allow the development within himself of the temptations of sensuality and pride, which pollute the clarity of internal spiritual sight.

Remembering my youth, I must admit that it was precisely through such an internal process that I lost my religious faith when I was 13-14 years old. The enticements of sensuality, the excessive trust in reason and the pride of rationality which were developing in me, deadened my soul. And I was not alone, the majority of my friends suffered the same fate.

Had an experienced spiritual instructor happened to be alongside us and peered into our souls, perhaps he would have found something good in them, but primarily he would have found idleness, gluttony, deceit, hypocrisy, self-assurance, inordinate belief in one’s powers and abilities, a critical and skeptical attitude towards the opinions of others, a tendency towards hasty and and rash decisions, stubbornness, and a trusting attitude towards all kinds of negative theories, etc.

The only thing he would not have found in our souls would be the memory of God, and the inner quiet and humbleness which it engenders.

We did not have such an instructor. Our religious teacher, a venerable protopriest, barely had time to check on our lessons in the Law of God and to explain further. And we regarded these lessons with the same boredom and indifference as all the others. Outside of these lessons we had no contact with our teacher. Confession, to which we went once a year, we approached with no understanding whatsoever.

And nothing prevented us from becoming spiritually extinguished.



Protopriest Sergey Chetverikov

Little Dimitri with the gift of insight...

       

In September of a certain year, there was a great deal of turmoil observed in the Department of Oncology of the University Hospital of Rion. Little Dimitri was asking urgently for the Hospital's priest. He was insisting on immediately receiving Holy Communion...
He was 13. He had been in that specific clinic for about one and a half years. A minor headache had led him there. The doctors had diagnosed brain cancer. His native town was Fieri of Albania; his parents unbaptized. They had lived in Patra for several years. Shortly after his admission to the Hospital, the young boy had asked to be baptized. He had heard about Christ, and wanted to become a "child" of His. He was baptized, "in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit" - after the necessary catechesis of course.
Everyone in the clinic was extremely fond of him. The cancer had progressed considerably, and had by now deprived him of his sight. He was entirely unable to see, anything and anyone. But he could listen, with the utmost and amazing patience. He never complained. He would say that God loved him very much. He prayed, and would ask his parents to do the same.
All those who visited him could perceive that there was something different in that boy. He spoke constantly about God. He was always courteous and happy. His face shone. He wanted to partake of the Precious Gifts frequently. When his mother would sometimes be in another area of the clinic, he would shout out to her:
"Mother, come quickly! Papa is coming, with Christ! He is coming up the stairs! Come and get me ready!"
And that was exactly what would happen: the priest would come, and he would find little Dimitri sitting upright in his bed, with his mouth wide open and crossing himself with reverence. Even though he never knew the exact time of the priest's arrival, he could "see" him coming, with his gift of insight - and despite the two closed doors that came between his room and the corridor that the priest was coming from. This has been verified by the pious Mrs. Maria Galiatsatou, who had volunteered to look after that boy.
"Mrs. Maria, I want to tell you something", he said to her one day. "When Papa comes together with Christ, I can see him approaching as he walks up the stairs, and next to him are two tall, beautiful people with pure white gowns, who lean towards the Holy Chalice to protect it, with their arms outstretched."
One time, when the doctor asked him: "How are you, my little Dimitri?"
He replied: "Mister Doctor, can I tell you something privately? I am just fine. But you shouldn't worry so much because your wife went away. God will be with you, because you are a good person."
The doctor remained frozen for an instant. No-one else knew about the grievous incident that had occurred the previous day at his place: that his wife had abandoned him, to be with another man.....
"Now that is a child of God" was what those who had met him would say.
The last time that he received Holy Communion, he was unable to sit up in his bed, but he did receive Christ with joy and longing as he lay there.
"Thank you very much", he whispered and then went to sleep forever. When the priest went to the morgue the next day to read the Trisaghion Prayer over little Dimitri, he remarked:
«It's the first time in my life that I have seen a corpse like this. His face was smiling...it was aglow.... and it had the colour of amber».
His parents came to love Christ very much, and they now want to be baptized also....
 

* One of the signs that Orthodoxy acknowledges in a reposed saintly person is also the colour of the skin, which takes on a translucent amber appearance.

Taken from the book: "ASCETICS IN THE WORLD" , pp.378–380, ISBN: 978-960-89593-2-3,
Publications of the Sacred Retreat «Saint John the Forerunner», Metamorphosis, Chalkidiki

Worrying, how to overcome it through faith ...

That ugly and omnipresent thorn called worry! Since it’s a chronic, recurrent condition, it’s been called the “Worry Disease.” I think worry must be Satan’s best weapon against man. Our minds are incessantly preoccupied with our daily cares. During peace-filled, “quiet time” moments of prayer and reflection we confidently profess our faith to God and feel His peace. Yet, this is so often immediately forgotten, preempted by the next worrisome preoccupation. At time, it’s maddening! Too often our “old nature” chooses to worry rather than to trust God. Worry is a sin because we aren’t taking God at his Word.

Virtually everyone is stressed out today. We fear various problems and what they may do to us. For example, I have worked in pharmaceutical marketing and medical communications for 30+ years and have witnessed incredible changes in the healthcare landscape. I laugh out loud when I remember how in the past I used to complain about various working conditions. However, they were minimal compared to today’s constant stream of pressures. Now there are insecurities about the marketplace, the unrelenting ferocity of managed care, stressed-out clients willing to change their ad agency “on a whim,” and the constant barrage of economic and socio-political uncertainties. It seems every industry, both private and government, is beleaguered by economic crises today.

I guess crying in my beard (?) is both selfish and narrow-minded. Whether we live or have lived in affluence or in abject poverty, we will always have fears and anxieties. Let’s face it; we live in a fallen world. We have to deal with it, and there’s only one way do that: constantly pause and know that God is in control.

When I’m having dark days and am beset by challenges of all sorts, I put my distress in God’s hands and really trust, really believe. He always delivers, and the more I trust, the less my discomfort, and the better the outcome.

Besides entreating the Lord, I must also thank Him. Since the human race is innately selfish, our conversation with God is often a big, one-sided “all about me.” But when we balance our requests with heartfelt thanksgiving, i.e., when it becomes an integral part of our lives, giving thanks can only diminish our despair and contribute to inner peace and real joy. It’s so easy to avow faith and to rationalize it. But faith in action, which means practicing our faith day by day, moment by moment, is the hard part.

Let’s face it. Every day is a life challenge to varying degrees. The storms we face-personal, social, work-related, spiritual, or financial-will always be there. In order to put things into the proper perspective, there are several actions we can take:

1. Start every day with a thanksgiving prayer. One of my favorites was written by Fr. Thomas Hopko:

We praise You, Lord Jesus for showing us how to live day by day without fear, serving obediently, always entrusting our lives into Your care. And we thank you Lord Jesus for showing us how to die, how to gain the victory, how to attain the crown of life by commending our souls into the Father’s hands.

2. Repeat the Jesus Prayer (“Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me a sinner”) for focus.

3. Recite short Bible verses. These can also help to assuage the anxieties of life whenever those inevitable afflictions rear their ugly heads. Meaningful verses like the following can really lift the weight of our woes:

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything, by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:6-7).

Be still and know that I am God (Psalms 46:10).

Trust in the Lord with all your heart. Lean not upon your own understanding (Proverbs 3:5).

There is no formula, no antibiotic, no magic elixir for eradicating worry and fear. It’s a matter of developing childlike faith, a conscious effort to trust in God. If and when He is willing, that burden will become lighter as we grow in His wisdom and grace.

Bottom line: There can be peace in our hearts only when we turn to the One, True Source of peace, Jesus Christ. As He affirmed, “[My] peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives, do I give you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid” (John 14:27).

Every day requires a reaffirmation of faith. If we seek God and His values, God will provide for us in wonderful ways we can never imagine. To know the pardon, joy, peace and power that come through Christ, we must personally receive Him by faith. And if our hearts are to change, our faith must be real.

Faith Alone is Insufficient for Salvation ( St. Theophan the Recluse )

Many people who call themselves Christians say that it is through faith alone that you will be saved. This is a dangerous error. Salvation requires that we receive the Holy Spirit.


Saint Theophan comments,

"Believe, believe, and the Holy Spirit will come." This is the biggest lie. Faith is indeed an indispensable condition for receiving the Holy Spirit, but the very receiving of the gift comes about not from faith alone, but from faith through the Divinely-established Mysteries. This is how it was even in Apostolic times.Our current culture is misled by our dependence on rational thought which leads us to accept the idea that we only need to believe and we can be saved. This is an intellectual deception. We cannot intellectually think of God and then expect to receive the Holy Spirit which is His saving grace. This Spirt only comes with the Sacraments of His Church.


Saint Theophan makes this point through the story of Paul in Ephesus. When he came to Ephesus Paul encountered several believers and asked them if they had received the Holy Spirit. They answered that they had not even heard of the Holy Spirit. They had been baptized with the baptism of John the Forerunner. Saint Paul then baptized them with the baptism of Christ and after that he laid his hands on them and they were filled with the Holy Spirit. The baptism they had received earlier was only a renewal and a preparation for receiving the saving Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit came through the laying on of Hands. Later the Apostles introduced Holy Chrism (a holy oil) to be used instead of the laying on of hands. Today in the Orthodox Church one is received into the Body of Christ though baptism and the sacrament of Chrismation where one receives the Holy Spirit. This sacramental act is essential.


Many Christian churches in this country do not have this sacrament. They preach the idea of faith alone. They require a confession of faith and then baptize in water, an act which is often seen as merely symbolic of their commitment to Christ. Those who follow this direction are grossly misled and never receive the Holy Spirit which they must have for union with God.


Now once you have this gift that comes through the sacrament of Chrismation, you need to nurture it so its presence and action will grow within you. If you fail to do so it will remain latent or hidden. If ignored, eventually it will become inactive. Then it is difficult to resurrect it. This is why we have the other sacraments of Holy Confession and Holy Communion to help us maintain the active work of the Holy Spirit which comes to us through these sacraments. Of course we have faith, but we also receive the Holy Spirit through Chrismation and continually renew its presence through the other sacraments. It also why we are continually engaging in ascetic efforts to purify our heart so that the "fire" of the Holy Spirit will be fanned and be allowed to act through all our bodily actions. In this way we can become virtuous and follow the Commandments of God. This is the Way to union with God and salvation.


Reference: The Spiritual Life, p 282

Matters of faith ( St. Innocent of Moscow )

Interpreting matters of faith, one must speak after careful consideration, clearly distinctly, as briefly as possible, otherwise your preaching will be of little success....

St. Innocent of Moscow

Is Faith Instilled Through Education? ( Saint Theophan the Recluse )

 

Where does faith come from? 

Saint Theophan the Recluse tells us
"Faith in the existence of God and His almightyness is an inherent property of the spirit which is found in each person as soon as his aptitudes are developed." Education only develops faith and gives it a form so it can be continually nurtured through worldly activities. This is quite different than the faith we gain in society. Society instills faith in its norms through education. All norms of society come from the human mind and are made firm though laws and accepted practices of a given society. All this needs to be learned because they are not naturally inherent in ones being. They are external and the mind needs to be conditioned to learn these norms that lead to faiths like patriotism, political freedom and democracy.

Faith in God is a bit different than any faith we have in society. We are made in God's image. We do not have to learn from any form of education the nature of this image. It is in our make-up. To know God requires a different kind of knowing than we use to know the ways of society. Faith in God cannot be learned by study. It can only be gained though an inner opening of our heart to the reality that exists there.

There are many ways we can come to a knowledge of God which lead us to faith. We can find God through our experiences with His creation, especially if we spend time in wilderness areas where man has had no influence. There, all we see is the work of God and we experience its incredible beauty which opens our heart to what is within. God can send us a vision like He did to Saint Paul on his journey to Damascus. Such visions of the uncreated light and voice of God are immediately transforming but rare. We can read the Gospel which then turns on a light in our heart and we find it explains what we feel deep inside. It opens our heart to what is already there. We can be moved by a spiritual guide or friend who gives us an insight that unlocks these inner secrets. Faith will come not by formal education but but through insight, an experience that lets us know the reality of what we have already inside us.

What does this say about Christian education? Can we learn faith at school by forced prayer or forced Bible study? Can we gain faith though new laws? What is the value of Sunday school where we try to force feed our children information about how we speak and practice our faith? Are these efforts all in vain?

No, not entirely, as these attempts at education may for some awaken what they already have within. But for others. these activities can instill a rationalization that will lead to a rejection of God if it is based on the assumption that you can explain God and faith through rational discourse. Sound Christian education has to be that which inspires one to seek what is within. It needs to place an emphasis on what cannot be explained our understood by our rational mind. It has to encourage one to live in the mystery and to seek what is beyond the knowledge of society.

This is the basis of prayer and the Orthodox worship service. Properly guided the attendance in the Divine Liturgy should be more important and a few minutes in a Sunday school class room. The class room can only help us explain and share what we have gained from our inner experience. It gives us a language to share what is not really sharable.

In concluding, here is a thought from Saint Theophan,

If everyone has faith, it follows that the norm of the human life undeniably includes faith. consequently, he who does not have faith departs from this norm, and is a moral freak. All nonbelievers are of this order.

Reference: The Spiritual LIfe, pp 301-303

Faith and Works (St.Seraphim of Sarov )

 
For many Christians, there is a battle between faith and works. Some proclaim that our salvation comes through faith alone. They are concerned that one might think they could get to heaven by their own efforts, I guess, without faith. For Orthodox Christians there is no battle between faith and works. We know that both faith and works are necessary. We call it synergic cooperation with God. But, the starting point is always an act of believing in God.

Saint Seraphim tells us the following:
 
Before anything else, one must believe in God, "that He is, and that He is a rewarder of them that diligently seek Him (Heb 11:6).
 
One who is a doubter is like a man lost at sea without a life raft. He is incapable of doing works that will lead him to God.
 
Saint James says,


"...he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind. For let not that man suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways. (James 1:6-8 NKJV)


Faith is the necessary first step on a journey to be united with God and know Him through direct experience. Without faith we could not undertake the necessary preparation. We would not know where to begin. Such preparation for many is seen as works without God, trying to earn our way to heaven. This is a concern without basis. To seek to know God, we begin with faith, believing that it is God who sent His Son for our transformation to be united with Him and that it is His teachings that we must follow. With this belief we will undertake meaningful works that with patience leads us to an intimate knowledge of Him.


Faith of necessity involves works. It is James who tells us, "Faith without works is dead" (James2:26). He points out that the necessary works involved are love, peace, long-suffering, mercy, humility, rest from all works, bearing of the Cross, and life in the Spirit.

Saint Seraphim says,
 
True faith cannot be without works; one who truly believes will unfailingly have works as well.

Our journey with Christ is one of cooperation where we submit our will to His will to do His work. To realize this we have many works to do in preparation to receive His grace which transforms and unites us with Him. With faith we desire to under take many works to perfect ourselves in His grace.

Reference: Little Russian Philokalia, Vol 1 , p 25.

St.Seraphim of Sarov

Faith is a gift ( St. Theodore of Edessa )

Faith is a gift, which induces us toward creating good. It gives birth to a fear of God within us and this fear teaches us to observe the commandments and live benevolently. From a benevolent life comes a desired dispassionate state and from this — love that is the fullness of all the commandments, which it unites.

St. Theodore of Edessa

Faith in the Holy, Catholic, and Apostolic Church ( St. John of Kronstadt )

“I believe in one Holy, Catholic, and Apostolic Church.” Do you believe that all Orthodox Christians are members of one and the same body, and that therefore we must all “keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace,” must care for one
another, help one another?

Do you believe that the saints are likewise members of the one body of Christ - that is, of the Church, and are our brethren, interceding for us before God in heaven? Do you respect every Christian, as a member of Christ, as His brother according to human nature? Do you love everybody as yourself, as your own flesh and blood? Do you generously forgive offences?

Do you help others in need, if you yourself have means? Do you teach the ignorant? Do you turn the sinner from the error of his ways? Do you comfort those who are in affliction? Faith in the Holy, Catholic, and Apostolic Church inspires, obliges you to do all this; and for all this you are promised a great reward from the Head of the Church - our Lord Jesus Christ.

 St. John of Kronstadt

http://agapienxristou.blogspot.ca/2012/10/faith-in-holy-catholic-and-apostolic.html

Children that Stray from the Faith: A Monastic Answer

Handmaiden:

How can we help our children regain their faith if they stray away from church in high school or when they go to college?

Mother Raphaela:

We cannot do anything to help our children regain their faith if they stray away from Church as they grow up. Once our children have grown, we have to let go of them and let them lead their own lives and make their own choices and decisions. Whether we have raised them well (and the biggest part of that is giving them an example by the way we have lived our lives and spoken our words), whether we have made huge mistakes that we must learn to repent of before God and His people, or whether we have raised them well along with some mistakes, what is left to us is prayer. Prayer is not trying to manipulate our children from a distance—perhaps even thinking that God and His saints are more powerful manipulators than we are if we can get them on our side. Prayer is taking the time and making the space regularly in our lives to put our children (and all of our loved ones) in God’s hands; asking the saints for their help in doing this; asking their guardian angels and their saints to be there with them. Prayer is letting go and trusting God. Such prayer is also a powerful statement to our children that we trust them. As long as we are taking the time and making the space to rescue them, we are giving them an equally powerful message that we think they are still children, incapable of handling whatever it may be.

Will our children always “turn out right”? No. Especially not on our schedule. But if we truly pray, if we truly love God, then we give them the best possible atmosphere to choose what is good and true, even when it does not seem right to us. And they will know that we love them, no matter what. This is the way God loves. For some of us, part of the Cross we may be asked to carry is to share in the suffering He endures each time one of us turns away from Him in order to pursue our own self-willed agenda.

Overall, the best thing we can do for ourselves and our children (and for all of our loved ones) is really to learn and understand that we are always, wholly, totally in the presence of God no matter what we do or say, no matter what we endure or perpetrate. Whether we recognize His presence or not, we cannot get away from Him. If we accept this presence and the great love that He has offered us and will always offer us, even now we have a foretaste of heaven. This is a simple understanding, but it is the basis on which all theology and prayer rest. Any words of theology and prayer apart from this realization are simply “noisy gongs and clanging cymbals” (1 Corinthians 13:1). When we make the time and the space, with God we acquire the love of the Holy Spirit, and as St. Seraphim teaches us, then God can save thousands around us.



http://lessonsfromamonastery.wordpress.com/2014/10/21/children-that-stray-from-the-faith-a-monastic-answer/