Thoughts to Ponder ( St. Neκtarios of Pentapolis )

Seek God every day, but in your heart; and not outside of it, and on discovering Him stand with fear and trembling, like the Cherubim and Seraphim, as your heart becomes God's dwelling place. To discover the Lord, humble yourself to the earth before Him, for the Lord rejects the proud and high minded, but loves and visits the humble of heart...

If it is to be first you desire, be last. If to rule, be the servant. If to be heard, be silent. You desire to have, then give. If you desire to buy, then save. If it is a well mannered child you desire, nourish him. If a learned child, teach him. If the love of the child, love him first. If respect, respect them first. If honor, love those around you. If you desire they love you, suffer long, be amiable, do not get angry, nor exaggerate, nor boast. Love your neighbors and you, too, will be loved. If you desire to be God’s, do good for life, respect your older brother and you will have the respect of the younger one.
 

St. Neκtarios of Pentapolis

No matter how hard we try... ( Archimandrite Aimilianos )

A basic condition for the spiritual life is that we should understand that, on our own, we can do absolutely nothing. No matter how hard we try, the spiritual life is something that someone else gives to us. And the “someone else” is the Spirit of God, the Comforter, the “treasury of good things and the giver of life”, the treasury from which all the riches of spirituality come forth, the source from which the spiritual life emerges and overflows. Of course, sometimes we get confused, and think that to be spiritual means to be a “good person”: not to steal, not to kill, not to go to bad places or with bad friends, to go to Church on Sunday, to read spiritual books, and so on. But no, this is not the spiritual life. A spiritual person, a true Christian, is someone whose entire life is sworn to God. Initially by means of his baptism, and later, in his heart, such a person swears an oath to God, to live for God, and to remain with God forever. A spiritual person is an athlete who has burst into life, who stands out from the crowds of human beings, and runs with all the speed of his soul to heaven.A spiritual person is one who with shining eyes and chest thrust forward, has set his course and races to heaven. He is not a “good man”. A spiritual person knows that, in order to succeed, he needs strong wings: the wings of the Holy Spirit. A spiritual person must therefore do everything possible to attract, to win over, the Spirit of God, because only the Holy Spirit, God himself, has the gifts of the spiritual life. According to St Gregory of Nyssa, the “distribution of the royal gifts” of the Holy Spirit takes place in the Church through the Sacraments.
 
Archimandrite Aimilianos

Η χαριτωμένη υπακοή ( Γέροντας Εφραίμ Φιλοθεΐτης )

Η υπακοή χαρίζει αμεριμνία, διότι η μέριμνα είναι μια πνευματική φυματίωση, που σιγα–σιγά, σαν μικρόβιο φυματιώσεως συνεχώς δηλητηριάζει τη ζωή του ανθρώπου, της ψυχής και του σώματος και σταδιακά φέρνει το θάνατο. Έτσι και η μέριμνα του βίου σαν ένα άλλο μικρόβιο φθείρει τον άνθρωπο, την ψυχή του και τον πεθαίνει ψυχικά.
Η υπακοή αναφέρεται στο Χριστό και όχι στον άνθρωπο που υπακούει κανείς. Και όταν ο υποτακτικός υπακούει χωρίς παράσιτα, αλλά για την αγάπη του Χριστού και μόνο, τότε η υπακοή του είναι σωστή μπροστά στα μάτια του Χριστού. Να υπακούμε για την αγάπη του Χριστού και μόνο και έτσι ο δρόμος μας γίνεται σταθερός και ίσιος για το Χριστό.
Ποιος άνθρωπος πάνω στη γη δεν έκανε σφάλματα και δεν τραυματίσθηκε στην πάλη με τους δαίμονες, τα πάθη και τον κόσμο; Δε μιλάμε γι’ αυτά τα τραύματα, αλλά μιλούμε ότι πρέπει να βλέπουμε συνεχώς τον προορισμό μας. Με τις δύο αρετές, της υπακοής για την αγάπη του Χριστού και της προσευχής να πετύχουμε την αγάπη του Χριστού. Κι όταν η αγάπη του Θεού έρθει μέσα στην ψυχή μας, τότε ο δρόμος μας πλέον δέχεται φως. Τότε η αγάπη του Χριστού εξουδετερώνει κάθε δυσκολία και νιώθουμε τη ζωή πάρα πολύ ευτυχισμένη.
Η υπακοή ταπεινώνει τον άνθρωπο και η ταπείνωση εξουδετερώνει κάθε πειρασμική ενέργεια. Όπου ταπείνωση, εκεί ο διάβολος χάνεται. Όπου υπερηφάνεια κι εγωισμός, εκεί η παρουσία των δαιμόνων, οι πειρασμοί και τα πάθη. Γι’ αυτό η υπακοή είναι πολύ χαριτωμένη αρετή, επειδή οπλίζει με τόση ταπείνωση τον άνθρωπο όταν υπακούει εν γνώσει, για την αγάπη του Χριστού.



Γέροντας Εφραίμ Φιλοθεΐτης - Νουθεσίες περί υπακοής

Οπλο εναντίον της πορνείας, μνήμη θανάτου - Γεροντικό

Ένα άλλο ισχυρό φάρμακο και όπλο εναντίον της πορνείας είναι, όπως αναφέραμε ήδη, η μνήμη του θανάτου.
Αν συλλογιστείς ότι σε λίγο ίσως δεν θα ζεις πιά, όπως ίσως δεν θα ζει και το πρόσωπο που σου προκαλεί σαρκικό πόθο, αν αντικρύσεις νοερά και το δικό σου και το άλλο σώμα νεκρό, βρωμισμένο, μισοφαγωμένο απ΄τα σκουλήκια -πώς να μη σιχαθείς τέτοια σάρκα;
Πώς να μη μεταφερθεί η σκέψη σου από τα τωρινά και πρόσκαιρα στα μελλούμενα και αιώνια;

Γεροντικο

Value of Holy Water ( St. John Maximovitch )

 During this time many Orthodox Christian will take from the Church bottles of Holy water to be used throughout the year. It is common for the priest to come to the home during this period to bless the home with Water that has been consecrated on the day of Theophany. Here are some thoughts on the value of Holy Water by Saint John of San Francisco.

On Theophany, the Day of the Lord's Baptism, every year a great miracle is performed. The Holy Spirit, coming down upon the water, changes its natural properties. It becomes incorrupt, not spoiling, remaining transparent and fresh for many years. This Holy Water receives the grace to heal illnesses, to drive away demons and every evil power, to preserve people and their dwellings from every danger, to sanctify various objects whether for church or home use. Therefore, Orthodox Christians with reverence drink Holy Water — a great Agiasma (holy thing), as the Greeks call it.
One should always have at home enough Theophany water to last the whole year, and make use of it at every need: in cases of illness, leaving on a journey, whenever one is upset, students prior to examinations, etc. People who drink a little Holy Water daily, before eating any kind of food, do well. It strengthens the powers of our soul—if it is done with prayer and reverence, and one does not merely expect a mechanical result from it. 

http://agapienxristou.blogspot.ca/2013/01/value-of-holy-water.html

Theophany - More than Blessing of Waters

 On January 6th we celebrate the Theophany, the full manifestation of God, the Holy Trinity revealed to us. Too often we only think about this as the time when we get Holy Water from the Church or when the Priest comes to bless our homes, but the significance of this event is so much more.
We are fortunate to have commentary from the second century by St Hippolytus [a.d. 170–236.] who was the disciple of Irenæus. We often raise the question, "Why did Jesus have to be baptized if He was sinless?" He explains why John, who resisted baptizing Jesus because he felt unworthy and inferior to Him thinking that he should be baptized by Jesus, baptized Him who was God Himself.
Hyppolytus shows how Christ comforted John,
And what saith the Lord to him? “Suffer it to be so now, for thus it becometh us to fulfil all righteousness.” (Matt 3:15) “Suffer it to be so now,” John; thou art not wiser than I. Thou seest as man; I foreknow as God. It becomes me to do this first, and thus to teach. I engage in nothing unbecoming, for I am invested with honour. Dost thou marvel, O John, that I am not come in my dignity? The purple robe of kings suits not one in private station, but military splendour suits a king: am I come to a prince, and not to a friend? “Suffer it to be so now for thus it becometh us to fulfil all righteousness:” I am the Fulfiller of the law; I seek to leave nothing wanting to its whole fulfilment, that so after me Paul may exclaim, “Christ is the fulfilling of the law for righteousness to every one that believeth.” (Rom 10:4) “Suffer it to be so now, for thus it becometh us to fulfil all righteousness.” Saint Hyppolytus tells us why Jesus was baptized, speaking from viewpoint of Jesus,

Baptize me, John, in order that no one may despise baptism. I am baptized by thee, the servant, that no one among kings or dignitaries may scorn to be baptized by the hand of a poor priest. Suffer me to go down into the Jordan, in order that they may hear my Father’s testimony, and recognise the power of the Son. “Suffer it to be so now, for thus it becometh us to fulfil all righteousness.” Then at length John suffers Him. “And Jesus, when He was baptized, went up straightway out of the water: and the heavens were opened unto Him; and, lo, the Spirit of God descended like a dove, and rested upon Him. And a voice (came) from heaven, saying, This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased.” (Matt 3:16-17) Jesus wanted to emphasize the role of the priest in baptizing those who chose to follow Him. He wanted all to hear the testimony of the Father so others would accept Him as His Son as this was the time He began His public ministry.
Saint Hyppolytus continues uplifting our sight even higher,
Do you see, beloved, how many and how great blessings we would have lost, if the Lord had yielded to the exhortation of John, and declined baptism? For the heavens were shut before this; the region above was inaccessible. We would in that case descend to the lower parts, but we would not ascend to the upper. But was it only that the Lord was baptized? He also renewed the old man, and committed to him again the sceptre of adoption. For straightway “the heavens were opened to Him.” A reconciliation took place of the visible with the invisible; the celestial orders were filled with joy; the diseases of earth were healed; secret things were made known; those at enmity were restored to amity. For you have heard the word of the evangelist, saying, “The heavens were opened to Him,” on account of three wonders. For when Christ the Bridegroom was baptized, it was meet that the bridal-chamber of heaven should open its brilliant gates. And in like manner also, when the Holy Spirit descended in the form of a dove, and the Father’s voice spread everywhere, it was meet that “the gates of heaven should be lifted up.” (Ps 24: 7) “And, lo, the heavens were opened to Him; and a voice was heard, saying, This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased.”

Most significantly we see in this event that the heavens are opened for all mankind who follow Him and join with Him through Baptism to become His adopted children. Christ shows us that we begin our Journey with Him through baptism. This is a Holy Sacrament where heavens are opened and we join with The Holy Trinity to be transformed, born again, so we can become like Him and have eternal life in His kingdom as one of His children.


Christ’s baptism in the Jordan was A “theophany,” in that the world was granted a revelation of the Holy Trinity. The Father testified from on high to the divine Sonship of Jesus; the Son received His Father’s testimony; and the Spirit was seen in the form of a dove, descending from the Father and resting upon the Son.
In the hymn of the Feast we sing, “Christ has appeared and enlightened the world.” Thus, January 6 is also known as the Feast of Lights. The Church celebrates on this day the illumination of the world by the light of Christ.


Reference: Ante-Nicene Fathers, vol 5, Hyppolytus, Discourse on Holy Theophany

http://agapienxristou.blogspot.ca/2013/01/theophany-more-than-blessing-of-waters.html

Holy Day of Light -Theophany ( Saint Gregory the Theologian )

Saint Gregory the Theologian refers to this great time of celebration in the Church as the "Day of Light."

  He says,

For the Holy Day of Lights, to which we have come, and which we are celebrating today, has for it's origin the Baptism of my Christ, the True Light That lightens every man that comes into the world, and effects my purification, and assists that light which we received from the beginning from Him above, but which we darkened by sin. The image of Christ as one who brings light to the world can be a powerful one if we realize that without Him we are in darkness. It is His light that lights the path to His Kingdom, to union with God. Without it the path is impossible to find and we are left wandering in darkness seeking what we cannot find.


Saint Gregory says,

Therefore listen to the voice of God, which sounds so exceeding clearly to me, who am both disciple and master of these mysteries, as would to God it may sound to you; I am the Light Of The World. Therefore approach ye to Him and be enlightened, and let not your faces be ashamed, being signed with the true Light. It is a season of new birth, let us be born again. It is a time of reformation, let us receive again the first Adam. Let us not remain what we are, but let us become what we once were... See the grace of the day; see the power of this mystery... This event is the establishment of the Sacrament of Baptism where we begin our healing from the sinful natured we have inherited from the fall of Adam and Eve. It is an event celebrating our renewal through our baptism, the time we became Christians with the Holy Spirit within guiding us toward a life like Him, made evermore effect as we participate in the teachings, practices and sacraments of the Church.


Saint Gregory puts it this way,

We were turned into a den of all sorts of passions, which cruelly devour and consume the inner man; but there was this further evil, that man actually made gods the advocates of his passions, so that sin might be reckoned not only irresponsible, but even divine, taking refuge in the objects of his worship as apology. It is on this day that Jesus entered the waters of the Jordan and submitted to the baptism of John to renew and fulfill it as an act to join us to God, being absolved of all our sins through the grace of the Holy Spirit.


Saint Gregory says,

Jesus goes up out of the water ...for with Himself He carries up the world ... And sees the heaven opened which Adam had shut against himself and all his prosperity, as the gates of Paradise by the flaming sword. And the Spirit bears witness to His Godhead, for he descends upon One that is like Him, as does the Voice from Heaven..., and like a Dove, for He honors the Body... By being seen in a body form... On this day the divine nature of Christ is revealed as part of the Holy Trinity. He became fully flesh in the Incarnation to renew all of mankind. Today we celebrate the beginning of His actions to help us rejoin in union with Him.


Reference: On The Holy Lights by Saint Gregory the Theologian

Τα Θεοφάνεια: Μια αρχαιότερη εορτή από τα Χριστούγεννα

Στις 6 Ιανουαρίου κλείνει ένα πλουσιότατο σε λατρευτικά δρώμενα, παραδοσιακά έθιμα και μακραίωνες συνήθειες Δωδεκαήμερο, που συνδέεται με κεντρικά στοιχεία του χριστιανικού Ευαγγελίου.
Tην κατά σάρκα γέννηση, την Περιτομή και τη Βάπτιση του Ιησού Χριστού, που είναι βασικοί σταθμοί της Ενανθρώπησης του Θεού στον κόσμο.

Παράλληλα, την 1η του έτους εορτάζεται και η μνήμη του μεγάλου Πατέρα της Εκκλησίας μας, Βασιλείου αρχιεπισκόπου Καισαρείας της Καππαδοκίας. Ο συνδυασμός όλων αυτών των στοιχείων κάνουν το διάστημα αυτό έναν πόλο εορταστικό και λατρευτικό στην καρδιά του χειμώνα, που συμπληρώνεται από τον αντίστοιχο εαρινό, δηλαδή εκείνον των πασχαλίων εορτών. Πώς προέκυψε όμως ιστορικά το εορταστικό αυτό σύμπλεγμα;
1. Η αρχή των Θεοφανείων
Για τις εορτές και τη λατρεία των πρώτων Χριστιανών οι πηγές μας είναι βέβαια τα βιβλία της Καινής Διαθήκης, κατόπιν οι λεγόμενοι Αποστολικοί Πατέρες, που υπήρξαν μαθητές και “ακουσταί” των Αποστόλων, όπως ο Ιγνάτιος Αντιοχείας, ο Κλήμης Ρώμης και άλλοι, και κατόπιν άλλοι χριστιανοί συγγραφείς του 2ου και 3ου αιώνα, καθώς και κείμενα κανόνων, προτροπών και διδαχών που γράφτηκαν τότε.

Σ’ αυτά ξεχωρίζουμε το Πάσχα και την κυριακάτικη Θ. Λειτουργία, τις καθημερινές προσευχές και το βάπτισμα των νέων Χριστιανών, που γινόταν ομαδικά το Μέγα Σάββατο το βράδυ. Για την περίοδο αυτή, του χειμώνα, η πρώτη μαρτυρία που έχουμε είναι του Κλήμεντος του Αλεξανδρέως στο δεύτερο μισό του 2ου αιώνα (δηλαδή 150-210), που μας πληροφορεί ότι οι οπαδοί του Βασιλείδη (που ήταν της αίρεσης των Γνωστικών) γιόρταζαν την ημέρα “του βαπτίσματος του Κυρίου” με αγρυπνίες και αναγνώσματα, χωρίς όμως να συμφωνούν όλοι για την ημερομηνία – άλλοι την τοποθετούσαν στις 6 κι άλλοι στις 10 Ιανουαρίου.
΄Οπως συμπεραίνουν νεώτεροι ειδικοί, από το διάστημα αυτό, ξεκινώντας ίσως από την Αλεξάνδρεια, μέχρι τα μέσα του 4ου αιώνα σ’ όλη την Ανατολή, την 6η Ιανουαρίου εορταζόταν μια τριπλή εορτή: η γέννηση του Χριστού, η προσκύνηση των μάγων και η βάπτισή Του. Η λέξη “Επιφάνεια” καλύπτει και τις τρεις εορτές, είναι η φανέρωση του Θεού ως βρέφους στους ανθρώπους γενικά και στους Μάγους ειδικά, η φανέρωση της Θεότητας στον Ιορδάνη με τη συμμαρτυρία του Πατρός και του Πνεύματος. Γιατί όμως στις 6 Ιανουαρίου;
Η προέλευση, πιθανότατα, είναι εξωβιβλική: είναι γνωστό, ότι αιγύπτιοι λάτρεις ενός μυστηριακού θρησκεύματος εόρταζαν την εμφάνιση του Χρόνου ή Κρόνου μέσα από τα νερά του Νείλου στις 6 Ιανουαρίου. Αυτή ήταν μια από τις πολλές ειδωλολατρικές “Επιφάνειες”. Είναι φανερό ότι οι Χριστιανοί ξεκίνησαν στην Αίγυπτο να δίνουν τη δική τους απάντηση για το ποια είναι η πραγματική “Επιφάνεια” του Θεού μέσα από τα νερά: αυτή του βαπτιζομένου Ιησού. Με το παράδειγμά Του και την εντολή Του αργότερα για βάπτιση των πιστευόντων όχι μόνο πλέον “εν ύδατι” (όπως στην θρησκευτική πρακτική πολλών ανατολικομεσογειακών θρησκειών, όπου το λιγοστό νερό θεωρείται πάντα θεόσταλτο καθαρτήριο), αλλά και “εν Πνεύματι”, ο Χριστός αναδείκνυε τη μοναδική ιστορική “Επιφάνεια” του Θεού σε μια ιστορία ευθύγραμμη, που δεν επαναλαμβάνεται. Αντίθετα, η “Επιφάνεια” των νερών ή του θεού-Ηλίου (solis invicti) στη Δύση, κατά το χειμερινό ηλιοστάσιο, ήταν η αποθέωση της κυκλικής φυσικής ροής του κόσμου.
2. Η ανάδειξη της ημέρας των Χριστουγέννων
Το βέβαιο είναι ότι μέχρι τα μέσα του 4ου αιώνα τα Θεοφάνεια ή “Φώτα” ή Επιφάνεια εμπεριείχαν και την εορτή των Χριστουγέννων, ένας συνδυασμός που απαντά ακόμη και σήμερα στο εορτολόγιο της Αρμενικής Εκκλησίας. Την εποχή του Μ. Βασιλείου (+ 379) και του Γρηγορίου του Θεολόγου μαρτυρούνται στη Μικρά Ασία οι πρώτες περιπτώσεις χωρισμού των δύο εορτών, όπου τα Χριστούγεννα άρχισαν να εορτάζονται στις 25 Δεκεμβρίου από επίδραση της Εκκλησίας της Ρώμης.
Στη Ρώμη είχε αρχίσει από τις πρώτες δεκαετίες του 4ου αιώνα (περί το 330-340) ο εορτασμός των Χριστουγέννων ως απάντηση στα ειδωλολατρικά Βρουμάλια ή Σατουρνάλια, που ήταν η λατρεία του αναγεννώμενου Ηλίου, όταν (περισσότερο εμφανώς στα βορειότερα κλίματα) άρχιζε να ξαναμεγαλώνει η μέρα, μετά το χειμερινό ηλιοστάσιο. Οι Χριστιανοί στη λατρεία του «ξαναγεννημένου Ήλιου» του φυσικού κύκλου, απαντούσαν με τη γέννηση του «νοητού Ηλίου της Δικαιοσύνης». Περί το 375 άρχισαν να εορτάζονται τα Χριστούγεννα και στη Συρία και το 386 ο Ιωάννης ο Χρυσόστομος, πρεσβύτερος στην Αντιόχεια, εξέφρασε στο Λόγο του “Εις την γενέθλιον ημέρα του Σωτήρος” τη χαρά του, που επιτέλους η 25η Δεκεμβρίου μπήκε επίσημα στο εορτολόγιο της πόλης. Μέχρι το 432 η εορτή είχε φθάσει και στην Αλεξάνδρεια.
Ενώ στη Δύση τα Επιφάνεια συνδέονται μέχρι σήμερα, κυρίως, με την προσκύνηση των Μάγων, στην Ανατολή εξακολούθησαν να εορτάζονται με μεγάλη λαμπρότητα: στα Ιεροσόλυμα την εποχή εκείνη, μας πληροφορεί το Οδοιπορικό της Αιθερίας (ταξιδιωτικός οδηγός μιας ευσεβούς Μαυριτανής κυρίας στα τέλη του 4ου αιώνα) ότι επί μία εβδομάδα μετά τις 6 Ιανουαρίου τελούνταν μία Λειτουργία κάθε μέρα σε συγκεκριμένους μεγάλους ναούς της πόλης από τον επίσκοπο ή μοναχούς.
Οι γνωστές σε όλους μας ευχές του Μεγάλου Αγιασμού έχουν σαφώς εξορκιστικό χαρακτήρα και καταδεικνύουν το θρίαμβο της νίκης του ενανθρωπήσαντος Υιού του Θεού (άρα, τελικά, του ανθρώπου, που ενώνεται με το Θεό) πάνω στον “γκρίζο” κόσμο πνευμάτων, κακοποιών στοιχείων, αοράτων “αρνητικών” δυνάμεων (όπως λέμε σήμερα) κλπ. Πολύ σωστά έχει, λοιπόν, συνδεθεί στη λαϊκή αντίληψη η έξωση των καλικαντζάρων ή “παγανών” με τον αγιασμό των υδάτων. Βαθμιαία, το διάστημα των 40 ημερών πριν τα Χριστούγεννα και των 40 ημερών μετά, μέχρι την Υπαπαντή, έγινε μια λαμπρή εορταστική αλυσίδα, που στις μέρες μας έχει, δυστυχώς, εκφυλιστεί σε άλλοθι καταναλωτισμού».

http://agapienxristou.blogspot.ca/2013/01/blog-post_6.html

The Tale of the Prayer and the Little Fox

 
In Egypt, in whose ancient Christian past there had once been many grand monasteries, there once lived a monk who befriended an uneducated and simple peasant farmer. One day this peasant said to the monk, “I too respect God who created this world! Every evening I pour out a bowl of goat’s milk and leave it out under a palm tree. In the evening God comes and drinks up my milk! He is very fond of it! There’s never once been a time when even a drop of milk is left in the bowl.”
Hearing these words, the monk could not help smiling. He kindly and logically explained to his friend that God doesn’t need a bowl of goat’s milk. But the peasant so stubbornly insisted that he was right that the monk then suggested that the next night they secretly watch to see what happened after the bowl of milk was left under the palm tree.
No sooner said than done. When night fell, the monk and the peasant hid themselves some distance from the tree, and soon in the moonlight they saw how a little fox crept up to the bowl and lapped up all the milk till the bowl was empty.
“Indeed!” the peasant sighed disappointedly. “Now I can see that it wasn’t God!”
The monk tried to comfort the peasant and explained that God is a spirit, that God is something completely beyond our poor ability to comprehend in our world, and that people comprehend His presence each in their own unique way. But the peasant merely stood hanging his head sadly. Then he wept and went back home to his hovel.
The monk also went back to his cell, but when he got there he was amazed to see an angel blocking his path. Utterly terrified, the monk fell to his knees, but the angel said to him:
“That simple fellow had neither education nor wisdom nor book-learning enough to be able to comprehend God otherwise. Then you with your wisdom and book learning took away what little he had! You will say that doubtless you reasoned correctly. But there’s one thing that you don’t know, oh learned man: God, seeing the sincerity and true heart of this good peasant, every night sent the little fox to that palm tree to comfort him and accept his sacrifice.”


The Tale of the Prayer and the Little Fox- from the little prologue.


http://agapienxristou.blogspot.ca/2013/01/the-tale-of-prayer-and-little-fox.html 
http://everyday-saints.com/fox.htm

Advice For Parents ( Saint Porphyrios )

What saves and makes for good children is the life of the parents in the home. The parents need to devote themselves to the love of God. They need to become saints in their relation to their children through their mildness, patience and love. They need to make a new start every day, with a fresh outlook, renewed enthusiasm and love for their children. And the joy that will come to them, the holiness that will visit them, will shower grace on their children. Generally the parents are to blame for the bad behaviour of the children. And their behaviour is not improved by reprimands, disciplining, or strictness. If the parents do not pursue a life of holiness and if they don't engage in spiritual struggle, they make great mistakes and transmit the faults they have within them. If the par­ents do not live a holy life and do not display love towards each other, the devil torments the parents with the reactions of the children. Love, har­mony and understanding between the parents are what are required for the children. This provides a great sense of security and certainty.


The behaviour of the children is directly related to the state of the parents. When the children are hurt by the bad behaviour of the parents towards each other, they lose the strength and desire to progress in their lives. Their lives are constructed shoddily and the edifice of their soul is in constant danger of collapsing. Let me give you two examples.


Two sisters came to see me. One of them had gone through some very distressing experiences and they asked me what was the cause of these. I answered them:
'It's because of your home; it stems from your parents.' And as I looked at the girl I said:


'These are things you've inherited from your mother.'


'But,' she said,' my parents are such perfect people. They're Chris­tians, they go to confession, they receive Holy Communion and we had a re­ligious upbringing. Unless it is religion that is to blame...'


I said to them:


'I don't believe a word of all that you're telling me. I see one tiling only, and that is that your parents don't live with the joy of Christ.'


On hearing this, the other girl said:


'Listen, Maria, the Father's quite right. Our parents go to confession and receive Holy Communion, but did we ever have any peace at home. Our father was constantly complaining about our mother. And every day either the one refused to sit at the table or the other refused to go out somewhere together. So you see what the Father is saying is true.


'What's your father's name?' I asked her,


She told me.

'What's your mother's name?'


She told me.


'Well,' I said,' the feelings you've got inside you towards your moth­er are not at all good.'


You see, the moment she told me her father's name I saw his soul, and the moment she told me her mother's name, I saw her mother and I saw the way her daughter looked at her.


Another day a mother came to visit me with one of her daughters. She was very distressed and broke down in tears.


'What's the matter?' I asked.


'I'm in total despair over my older daughter. She threw her husband out the house and deceived us all with a pack of lies.'


'What kind of lies?' I inquired.


'She threw her husband out the house ages ago and she didn't tell us anything. We would ask on the phone, "How's Stelios doing?', and she would reply, "Oh, he's fine. He's just gone out to buy a newspaper." Each time she would think up some new excuse so that we wouldn't suspect anything. And this went on for two whole years. A few days ago we learned the truth from Stelios himself when we bumped into him by chance.'


So I said to her:


'The fault's your own. It's you that's to blame, you and your husband, but you most of all.'


'What do you mean!' she said indignantly. 'I loved my children to the point that I was never out of the kitchen. I had no life of my own at all. I took them to the church and I was always telling them the right thing to do. How can you say that I'm to blame?'


I turned to her other daughter who was with her and asked:


'What do you think about the matter?'


'The Father's right, Mum,' she said. 'We never ever enjoyed a single day when you weren't quarrelling with Dad.'


'Do you see then, how I'm right? It is you that are to blame. You traumatised the children. They are not to blame, but they are suffering the consequences.'


Wounded by Love: The Life and the Wisdom of Elder Porphyrios, trans. by John Raffan (Limni, Evia, Greece: Denise Harvey, 2005), 195-205.